My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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