i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
