my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
