can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
