i just had sex bonerless
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
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Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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