lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
