"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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