Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
