Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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