look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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