She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
