I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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