the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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