is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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