The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
