Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
home. puking in laundry basket.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
