Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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