She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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