Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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