It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
