Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
