I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
