I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize