I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
