So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
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Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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