thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
