Small penises have feelings too.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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