So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
