Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
