bring money and cleavage
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
