Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
