You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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