therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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