Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
