I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
