my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
