Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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