Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
