CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When did angry sex become our thing?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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