is your mom at the bar?
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont even know how to be here
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
