Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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