I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize