Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is wine microwaveable?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
