well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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