Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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