no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hello my rib-scented angel!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
