my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize