and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
