I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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