There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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