Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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