i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
