if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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