yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
