yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
