running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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