i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he puts the penis in happiness.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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