Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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