dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
