so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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